Something is welling up inside. To put my finger on it is the challenge. Emotion without words. It is a question that needs asking. It is a thought that desperate for pondering. Why do I exist? Is there a purpose to my existence, or am I debris out to sea, floating on the surface.
Absence and presence. Ebb and flow. The tide ebbs out. The tide flows in. Life is often characterized by periods of presence followed by absence. Companionship springs from aloneness. But how often is one really alone with oneself?
Facing the truth of life may be like rising above the worst kind of fear. Some are afraid of heights, some of spiders. I am afraid of myself. I am afraid of being known. Ignorance is bliss but truth is life. Ignorance is easy but truth is hard. Aren’t we all afraid of something?
Distractions today are numerous like the waves pounding the shore. Interruptions prevent minds from thinking. Phones ring, buzz, and demand attention. Music in the car, at home, in the shower. E-mail requires incessant investigation. And the beloved Facebook, which needs no introduction. Distraction prevents people from sinking below the surface of life. It hinders immersion into the still and dark corners of the soul.
Why can’t I sink in deep?
O Jesus how I long to meet you face to face. Take me to the dark corners of my soul. Transform darkness into light. Make meaning out of nonsense. Clutch my heart and don’t let go. Form order out of chaos. Take me by the hand. Guide me to my own self. Clear up my murky waters so that I may see plainly. Jesus invade my soul for without you I am merely a sheep that has lost its way, tangled in a thicket. Take me deep O Lord. Deeper than I have courage to go.
Truth. It is what sets man free. Having an uncanny ability to strip one bare and naked. Turbulent waters erode river rocks stark naked. Fish toil day in and out against the current of stirring water. The water hits the grind, with honor and courage and obedience. Wether one can see or not, the river flows with intention towards the salty sea. Truth is all around. See it.
Truth. It is the thunderous silence. Can you hear it? Frigid wind navigates the ponderous pine of a dense forest. Needles abrade. Stagnant snow descends from hospitable branches to form a new beginning. Flakes floating with the crisp breeze to join those residing on the forest floor. Wind stops. Silence. Shh listen to it.
Truth.Before it is a word, it is a deafening silence. A pin falls to the floor roaring. Truth can only be experienced. Words can only point to it. Life is truth. Death and rebirth are also truth. Suffering and strife, they are truth too. Grace, as funny as it is, free with no fine print, is truth indeed. In the end, who knows, maybe the camel passes through the eye of a needle.
Truth. It is the reversal of things. It is mysterious like the order of the universe. God is truth, but truth is not God. One speaks truth when one points to the entire human experience, not just the easy to swallow. Truth should make us cry, laugh, and rejoice. The Gospel is truth. It is bad news first, and then the best news man has ever heard. It is so good, it’s too good not to be true. The lame walk, the deaf hear, the blind see. Truth is the Kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven. It is the Kingdom, the reign of God, breaking into the present. The Kingdom, if allowed, breaks into the heart and into one’s present experience. God does impossible things, with impossible people.
Truth. So think about it. Do you pay attention to the silence in your life? Or do you drown out the still small whisper of God with trifling crap?