Deep Water

Something is welling up inside. To put my finger on it is the challenge. Emotion without words. It is a question that needs asking. It is a thought that desperate for pondering. Why do I exist? Is there a purpose to my existence, or am I debris out to sea, floating on the surface.

Absence and presence. Ebb and flow. The tide ebbs out. The tide flows in. Life is often characterized by periods of presence followed by absence. Companionship springs from aloneness. But how often is one really alone with oneself?

Facing the truth of life may be like rising above the worst kind of fear. Some are afraid of heights, some of spiders. I am afraid of myself. I am afraid of being known. Ignorance is bliss but truth is life. Ignorance is easy but truth is hard. Aren’t we all afraid of something?

Distractions today are numerous like the waves pounding the shore. Interruptions prevent minds from thinking. Phones ring, buzz, and demand attention. Music in the car, at home, in the shower. E-mail requires incessant investigation. And the beloved Facebook, which needs no introduction. Distraction prevents people from sinking below the surface of life. It hinders immersion into the still and dark corners of the soul.

Why can’t I sink in deep?

O Jesus how I long to meet you face to face. Take me to the dark corners of my soul. Transform darkness into light. Make meaning out of nonsense. Clutch my heart and don’t let go. Form order out of chaos. Take me by the hand. Guide me to my own self. Clear up my murky waters so that I may see plainly. Jesus invade my soul for without you I am merely a sheep that has lost its way, tangled in a thicket. Take me deep O Lord. Deeper than I have courage to go.

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